Art is the mirror that makes me feel beautiful

I was going to say something.

I found this picture in my google drive.

I work hard on not looking like this.

I mean looking fairly happy is a task when your face has other plans

I was once told by a Carnival Psychic that my face gave no clues to my state of being.

Looking at this picture I would say yes that is true 

I was trying to do what a lot of us do but don't admit to.

I was trying to see what I look like to other people

I wanted to stare at myself .

it is as simple as that.

I just got the pink lipstick

I cant remember where it is now

but looking at this picture I like the color a lot.

Looking at this picture I look a bit intimidating 

As if I want to  be left alone.

and yet..

I have something to tell you , that you may not want to hear.

But you must.

I bet and this is going to sound horrible  that I was thinking as I always do, when taking selfies

that maybe I can find the beauty that I don't often see in the mirror.

maybe I can understand why children like me and why

 they will some times smile at me..mostly the very little ones.

How can I feel so hideous and yet not be?

or am I?

it remains a mystery for me.

I know what you are thinking , that
I am fishing for some sort of reassurance 

but the truth is no one can convince me but me.

I write and create art for the same reason

it is the only mirror I like looking into

with my writing and art

I am inviting you to look at me

in hopes that you connect with something you see

as I have with other artist

and because I know within my art

I am beautiful

the face can be so deceiving.